I haven't seen my child for a while. But I’m ready now. What should I do?

Life happens. Whether you intend to or not, sometimes you end up in a situation that prevents you from having a relationship with your child. So, what does that mean for you? How can you ensure that you will be able to build that relationship in the future?

There are several ways to begin building that path to having a relationship with your child.  If you were once married to the other parent, or have had a custody order issued by the Court (either here in Texas or in another jurisdiction), then you will probably need to modify your Court Order.  However, don’t run into the courthouse and file your paperwork just yet.  You should probably speak with an attorney to discuss what you want to do.  Sometimes your situation may be such that there are certain things you cannot and should not do.  You don’t want to file the paperwork without having a strategy or doing the prep work necessary to put forth a strong case.  For example, if the issue is your alcohol addiction, then going back to court when you are still having an alcohol addiction problem will likely get you nowhere.  In fact, doing so may even hurt your chances of getting custody and parenting time in the future. 

In order to modify child custody and parenting time orders, you must meet several requirements: 

1. Prove that the change is in your child’s best interest, AND

2. Prove that at least one of the following is true:

   1. The circumstances of the child, a conservator or other person affected by the order have materially and substantially changed, or

   2. The child is at least 12-years-old and tells the judge (in the judge’s chambers), who the child wants to live with, or

   3. The person with primary custody has allowed someone else to have primary care and possession of the child for at least 6 months. (Exception: This does not apply to the situation in which the person with primary custody is on active military deployment.)

See Texas Family Code Chapter 156.101.

Determining whether or not your situation meets these requirements involves a legal analysis of your situation.  While you can try to do this yourself, an experienced attorney can better help you determine this.  In addition, some situations require careful planning and strategizing.  For example, if you have an alcohol addiction, you may need to show that you have overcome your issues and are not likely to relapse.  How to build up your case and put forth strong evidence is something that an attorney will probably know more about. After all, you don’t have time and money to keep going back to court. 

If you have never gone to court (in any jurisdiction) for a court order to give you parental rights, then you may have to file a suit to establish yourself as a legal parent.  This is normally for those who have never married the other parent of the child, or if the child was born out of wedlock. There may also be additional steps for the Father or the non-gestational (or non-birthing parent) to do in order to establish custody. For example, you may need to do a DNA test to show that the child is biologically yours.  Therefore, before you proceed to the courthouse, you may want to at least consult with an attorney to figure out what type of documents and proof you need to support your case.  Otherwise, you may end up wasting time and money, and still not able to have your parental rights established. 

Being a parent can be difficult and challenging at times, but the joy you get from it may be priceless.  You can only raise your child once.  Your impact in your child’s life takes place as early as the moment that he/she is born.  It may not be too late to start or return to that relationship.  At least it is worth trying. 

The content provided in this blog is for informational purposes only.  This is not legal advice, and your viewing of this blog does not form any attorney-client relationship. 

© 2021 All Rights Reserved.