New relationship = new custody drama?
Life changes. But, not everyone is good at dealing with it. This is particularly tricky when the changes affect other relationships, such as your relationship with your child and your relationship with the other parent. Fortunately, there are ways that may help make this a smoother transition.
Even if you believe you are in an amicable relationship with the other parent, there is no guarantee that this relationship will last forever. As you enter into a new relationship, there are several reasons why this amicable relationship with the other parent can suddenly head south.
The other person is caught off-guard. This is not to say that you have to tell the other parent every aspect of your life. However, some heads up before introducing your child to your new significant other may be a good thing. If anything, the show of respect may prevent some unnecessary drama from brewing.
The other person is concerned for the child’s well-being. Just as you may not trust a stranger becoming close to your child, the other person may feel the same way. Therefore, communicating with the other person and approaching him/her with the idea of introducing a new partner into the child’s life before it happens may help ease some of that concern.
The other person is concerned about being replaced or alienated. This is actually a common issue. Many custody dramas grew out of the other parent feeling alarmed about being replaced by the new significant other or alienated to make room for the new person. Sadly, this feeling is sometimes proven to be accurate. One way to minimize the problem is to take a proactive approach. Never discuss negative things about the other parent in front of the child. Never compare the other parent to your new significant other (especially in front of the child.) Oh, and it may be helpful to get your new significant other to acknowledge the importance of the other parent in the child’s life. Hopefully, doing so can ease some of that concern and help continue that good working relationship.
There are many other ways drama can arise when introducing a new person into the child’s life. These kinds of drama may not only affect you, but may have a significant negative impact on your child’s development and emotional well-being. Here are some ways that may help minimize that problem.
Communicate with the other parent.
Be respectful of the other parent as an important person in the child’s life.
Set proper boundaries for all involved. Your new significant other may be a part of the child’s life, but he/she should not replace the other parent or be a wedge in your relationship with the other parent.
Consider family counseling. Sometimes you just need a little help. Having a change in family dynamics may not only be difficult for the adults, but also for the child. Instead of trying to figure this out on your own, consider getting help from professionals who are experts in getting families through these types of changes.
These are just some suggestions that may be helpful to your situation. However, should you find that your situation is more complicated, or that avoiding drama is simply not possible, you may want to consider speaking with an attorney to learn about your rights and getting help from a parenting facilitator to handle the high conflict.
The content provided in this blog is for informational purposes only. This is not legal advice, and your viewing of this blog does not form any attorney-client relationship.
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