Straying off your parenting plan

Let’s be honest. Life changes.  Your needs will change.  A parenting plan that may have been working before, may not work anymore.  Perhaps you think that it is more convenient to do things differently. But, do you know how that may affect your child custody matter in the long run?

When there is a parenting plan in place, whether it was ordered by the Court or agreed upon by the parties, the parties are expected to follow it.  Of course, there are some days when one party needs help with the children and the other takes over. Or perhaps there was a special occasion, and the parties agreed to switch days, or simply let the other party have the children for those days.  These normally don’t pose issues in the long run.

However, what if you have a change in work schedule and can no longer pick up the children every Wednesday after school for your parenting time?  Your natural instinct may be to let the other parent pick up the children and keep them until the following day so that the children will not have to travel so late.  Or perhaps, you may want to have someone living in the other parent’s household to watch the children while both of you are at work. While these may be reasonable actions to take, you should take precautions when handling the situation.

One of the biggest dangers is that by doing so, you may be building up a history of change that allows the other person a reason to modify parenting time permanently.  If your situation is not flexible, and you simply cannot take the children any other time in exchange, you may have to succumb to reality.  However, if you are able to make exchanges in parenting schedules (like, the other party has the children on Wednesdays, while you take the children on Tuesdays instead), you may want to consider making that exchange.  This way, even if the other party decides to file for modification due to a change in circumstance, you can decrease your chance of losing your total number of parenting days.  Even better yet, you may want to consider doing a parenting agreement to make that change permanent and have the Court enter it as an Order to make it enforceable. 

Another danger that comes with a change in parenting days is that you may suddenly find yourself going from being a primary custodial parent to being the non-custodial parent.  With that, you may also find yourself having to pay the other party child support, instead of receiving child support from the other party.  

Certainly, you need to do what is necessary to make things work for you and your children.  If you find yourself in this situation, you may want to consider other alternatives that will maintain your number of parenting days.  You may also want to consider making any changes to be in writing, with the intention of the parties clearly stated.  Lastly, you may want to file those changes with the Court and ask for it to be entered as an Order.  

There are many things to consider when you come up with a new parenting plan.  A band-aid solution can sometimes lead to unexpected consequences.  If you have questions about what is the best way to move forward, be sure to talk with an attorney first before making any changes.  An experienced attorney should be able to walk you through some pros and cons and help you consider different strategies that may work for you, and also help you get the legal protection you need. 

The content provided in this blog is for informational purposes only.  This is not legal advice, and your viewing of this blog does not form any attorney-client relationship. 

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